The Troll of My Life

By Kristie Wood, the Troll’s wife (Dedicated to All Those Happening Across the Bridge of Life)

He’s hairy. He’s scary—your trollish brute,

He’d rather be sweaty than smell of “Aloof”.

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He’s not what you’d think of your typical Troll

For he’s tall and quite slim with really no rolls.

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He’s not very gruff as his voice should be

But rather tender-spoken in all reality.

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He’s been ever steady from troll-youngster to present

With an unquenchable passion to know Someone who is omniscient.

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You may reason “This must be all part of his tricky bridge play!

He’ll try to catch me off guard with his seemingly gentle ways.

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Does he lurk under my bridge with a malice-filled heart?

Is his stomach growlin’ just thinkin’ of devouring my inner parts?”

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He spends hours and hours preparing each day

To eat you as breakfast, lunch, dinner – now pray?

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Have you met this dear Troll – the love of my life—

He has four somewhat Troll-like children and a wife.

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His wife can be ugly as Troll wives should be

With no make-up, big warts, and occasional snarling you see.

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For their four troll-like children can cause her deep dismay

When the fighting ensues and their yelling is now on display.

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The sad truth be told, we’re all very much Trolls

With our sinful, wicked hearts we cause each other great woes.

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However, we’ve discussed it quite thoroughly, we won’t eat you – we promise.

We’re really quite full of God’s Word and His faithful premise.

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To make us new creatures – “old things are passed away”

We’re new creations and we’ll live in heaven some day.

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Yet, there may be times when my Troll will seem gruesome indeed

For in speaking the truth, it may cause you to bleed.

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His purpose is not for your destruction

But rather to help you consider your bridge and its spiritual function.

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A Troll’s life is short. Yours will be too.

Is the bridge your soul’s standing on – tried and true?

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The t-shirt can be found here