Slowly . . . I’m back

The circumstances . . .

 

With my car I hit a dear neighborhood boy, last Saturday.  His face looks like he has been in a massive street fight.  But thank God!  He experienced no concussion, no broken bones; and he didn’t even require one stitch to any of his bloody abrasions.  It is a miracle.  There is nothing figurative, symbolic, allegorical, or allusive about any of this.  I surely believe in supernatural miracles.  I have been engulfed in one.

 

The emotions . . .

 

I wanted someone to run me over with a car.  I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself.  Over and over, my mind has played the events in a frantic replay . . . this son’s bleeding face . . . this son’s crying out to his father . . . his shaking . . . my shaking.

 

And then I start thinking of the crucifixion . . . the Son’s shredded face because of my sin . . . and the Son crying out to His Father, “My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me?” 

 

O wretched man that I am.  I have been weeping and walking floors over my sin, a miserable heap of sad spark and scintillation during this July 4th season.  I am broken – emotionally crushed in heart.  The hot weather has matched the torridity of my heart.

 

The healing . . .

 

My beloved church family has been praying for me.  About eight brothers spontaneously gathered around me in a circle this past Sunday morning and prayed.  During the evening of this Lord’s Day, for about a half hour, brothers and sisters, one by one, verbally prayed for me and this boy I hit.

 

Friends have called and emailed me with tender expressions of love.

 

Slowly, tentatively, I am driving again my ’92 Buick.

 

I packed my family into our ’97 van and headed to Red Cliff Bible Camp for the family camp meeting.  Here is one of the first songs I sang on the mountaintop.

Arise, my soul, arise!  Shake off thy guilty fears; the bleeding Sacrifice in my behalf appears: before the throne my Surety stands – my name is written on His hands, my name is written on His hands.

I have been able to take quiet wanders in the woods and to experience long extended periods in prayer with my God.  I spoke on prayer to the intermountain assembly, authentically sharing my heart struggles.  Let us be the weak, helpless, dependent creatures in the Intermountain West who cling fiercely to our God with persistence and determination.

 

God does heal the heart with resurrection power.  And it is only God who is able – to God alone be the glory.  Thank you, Father.  Thank you, Son.  Thank you, Spirit.  O precious, ministering Triune God.

10 comments

  1. You have been in our prayers, Todd, and you and your people will continue to be so.

    What is the young man’s first name? We will pray for him as well.

    Are you familiar with the writings of Dr. A.W. Tozer?

  2. Zach.

    And in just over a week, he is going with my son to Red Cliff for five days of Bible camp.

    In the theology of anguish and weakness, God is teaching me many things about Himself, Greg.

    Yes, I am familiar with A.W. Tozer. Do you have any quotes?

  3. Zach. Great name.

    The first thing that came to mind, of course, was St. Paul’s words in II Cor. about “strength being made perfect in weakness”.

    I did not have anything specific in mind when I mentioned Tozer, but in googling “Tozer” and “weakness”, I found the following:

    http://spurgeon.wordpress.com/2008/05/09/a-passion-for-god-the-spiritual-journey-of-a-w-tozer-by-lyle-dorsett/

    This is a prayer that all of us who are ordained would do well to offer on a regular basis.

  4. I just prayed Tozer’s prayer for myself.

    Thank you.

    The privilege of prayer to the Father is deepening my faith. I am swimming in the deep swells of His divine attributes.

  5. Seth, he was just in our house about five minutes ago. Everytime I see him, I just want to give him a great, big bear hug.

  6. Todd,

    It is good that you are feeling better. I know that this has been a rough time for you. I have been praying for you and all that have been involved.

    A thought for you that has been on my mind a lot hear lately, “Our WITNESS is not in what trials we face, but in the ONE with whom we face them.”

    You know I am not much of a writer, so I will quit while I am ahead. If you need me, you know where to look for me brother. You are in my prayers.

  7. Todd, it’s wonderful that the young man is recovering so nicely. Sorry you were in the wrong place at the wrong time — great you are bouncing back.

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